She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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