Yo dont text me then not text me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
