i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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