I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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