there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
