Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
