So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
