The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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