my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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