Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
