another moral hangover. fuck.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
please come you make the beer taste better
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
