I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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