I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My vagina just clenched in fear
Couch. On fire.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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