He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
