drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
