Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
