This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
