Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
