and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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