I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
