i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
