Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
