i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize