'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
