maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize