I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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