Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
