so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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