so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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