Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize