I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
