I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she smelled like a LAN party
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
