Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
