i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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