i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well you can't waste a boner
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
