last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
