you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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