if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
