She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
