We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
