Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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