The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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