return my video game
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize