i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
