and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
