help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
