Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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