I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
