I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
