you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize