i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
