So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Two words: blizzard sex
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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