he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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