guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize