I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
