I cut my penus on the lid.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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