she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I cut my penus on the lid.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
