I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
