i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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